Author: Silvia Mascarenhas | Sep 10, 2016
A few days ago, I met 7-year-old Mona, a girl who was brought to Sethu with to some behavioral concerns. Her parents were worried that although she does very well in her academics, she is very naughty at home and they find it very hard to manage her behavior. In school however, she is very well behaved.
Her teachers do not have any complaints about her and she has many friends. Mona and her parents came to Sethu for counseling in the hope that her behaviors at home would change. On investigation, I found out that Mona is the only child and her parents give her everything that she asks for. They do all her work for her, including dressing, bathing and feeding her. Her school bag is also packed by them. They did this a means of showing her their “love”. However, her parents want her to now start doing her own work and sometimes also help them in doing some household chores. Mona finds this new pattern difficult to adjust to.
It was completely understandable that Mona’s parents wanted her to feel loved hence they would do her chores to show that they cared about her. As parents, it often hurts to see your child getting hurt or experience any kind of failure. However, it is so important that children learn do their jobs independently. Parents can help their children but only till it’s appropriate. It’s wonderful and important to encourage your child to be independent, so that they can learn from their own little mistakes as well as prepare them to handle failure too. This in turn, gives them an opportunity to reason out and make choices, which will eventually make them more self-sufficient. It could also be a boost to their self-confidence.