Author: Rebecca Manari | September 8th 2022
When I talk to parents of autistic toddlers in preschool the topic of conversation is often school and the issues and concerns ASD parents have. One common complaint from preschool teachers to parents is that their child is unable to stay in their seat for very long.
Sitting tolerance is simply the tolerance of a child to stay seated for a length of time. Some may sit for just 2 minutes while others have greater attention and can stay with an activity for 30 minutes.
Remember: every child is different!
When a child has a developmental delay, any new skill takes time, and sitting in one place IS a skill. Be patient. Sitting tolerance can certainly be harder for autistic children.
Children in preschool are required to stay seated for a long time and this can be an unreasonable expectation for all children from teachers, it is especially challenging for our little autistic kids. However, it is an expectation the teachers often have, so how do parents get the teachers and children need to meet each other halfway?
To help your child to manage better at school, and to get the teacher on board you try and follow these tips if sitting tolerance is something you’re trying to achieve:
Talk to the child’s teacher to find out what their expectations are. Does she use a visual timer in the classroom? If not, you can suggest it. Does she reward the child for meeting her expectations? When you find out these things, it can help you to understand how you can best support your child at home. Is an end to the seated time told to the class? What happens if a child moves out of their place? How long is my child sitting for? When you find out these things, it can help you to understand how you can best support your child at home.
Once you have ascertained what the expectation is and what accommodations, if any, can be made at school you can then put a realistic practice plan in place at home.
When forming your plan bear in mind the following factors:
Timing
Activity
Mirror teacher (perhaps something like – ‘It’s time to sit in your place for colouring, until the bell goes, then it is time to go out and play’.
Praise
Practice
Highlight the good behaviour
Report home progress to the teacher to compare
Pick an activity that you know your child enjoys. When you begin activities for a few minutes each time, make sure it’s an activity that your child loves and is going to be happy to try. If not, this will be a big failure. Slowly, once you see that the child’s tolerance is increasing, you can offer the fun activity of the child’s choice, then an activity of your choice, and then one more fun play time for the child. This is what we call ‘sandwiching’ the learning activities between two fun or play activities.
Keep realistic, stick to small goals that are achievable: If the child isn’t even sitting for 5 minutes, we can’t expect them to practice this skill for very long, to begin with. Initially, maybe try thrice a day, for just 3 minutes each time (depending on the inputs from the teacher). As the child develops tolerance to this, you can slowly increase the time allotted to this exercise.
Pick a time when your child is happy and comfortable: Let’s face it, we adults are busy people and we assume that we can probably just work with our child once we’re done with our chores and we have some free time, right? WRONG! You must pick a time that your child is well fed, well rested, but not too full of energy either. The child must be in a happy, comfortable state of mind.
Be determined and persist: If you find it hard at the start, change your approach. Maybe your child just had a bad day, or maybe the activity wasn’t interesting enough. Continue to stick with it and you will start to understand when your child is most compliant.
Practice daily when you can if you want to see progress. Before long, your child will probably surprise you.
Happy child + happy teacher = happy parent!
The Sethu Parent Support Group is open to all Sethu parents of children with ASD. Interested in becoming part of this vibrant supportive group? Contact us at +91-7720013749 or email The People Team at [email protected] between 9 am to 5 pm on Tuesday to Saturday, to book an appointment with one of our therapists and let’s get started.