Welcome to part 2 of my story as a shell-shocked parent who recently learned that her young daughter had been bullied at school pre lockdown…
When I shared my previous post, I felt helpless and confused. I had to choose between ‘the flight or fight response’ and I went with the fight response in advising my naïve daughter. I said to her, “If this happens again, just say, I think you need 6 pairs of specs if you can’t make out if I’m a girl or boy.” This resulted in soul-soothing peals of laughter from Anaaya. Do you think I advised her correctly? Actually, in retrospect NO I did not!!
After talking to my colleague Aileen D’Souza – a gem of a human and a wonderful resource and professional, she shared that for kids who are bullied the best advice is the ‘STOP – WALK – TALK’ approach. I needed a further explanation, Aileen went on…
Advise your child to:
- STOP: Tell the bully to STOP.
- WALK: Your child should WALK away and then…
- TALK: Talk to someone as soon as possible about it – a parent, teacher or friend.
- Never react to a bully: Engaging or complying to a bully’s taunts or demands gives them the satisfaction that they have got under your skin and that they have power over their victim. This is exactly how we don’t want the bully to feel.
Other tips include sensitising children to the topic of bullying and teaching them the STOP, WALK, TALK tactics. Bullying is more common than you think and can happen to ANY child. Knowledge is power and the more bullying is talked about the easier it will be for other children to stand up for those who are being bullied.
For children with Autism, Carol Gray is an excellent resource and is widely known for the development of Social Stories. Do take the time to read what she has to say, here is the link to her Guide on Bullying…
https://carolgraysocialstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Spring-2004-ISSUE-and-workbook.pdf
Insider Tip: Look at the end of the article on ‘How to Respond to a Bully Attempt’ – What to Think, Say and Do.
For children who are very traumatised with consistent bullying, counselling will surely help too.
If you are concerned that your child is being bullied and need help with strategies, or if you would like to book a zero-tolerance to bullying workshop for teachers at your school, please contact us at Sethu.
ANJALI BARRETTO
Head – Child Development Centre