Author: Madhura Joshi| December 19, 2020
In psychotherapy and counselling sessions we meet many different people, whatever our personal circumstances at the time, we actively listen to the narrations without judgement or prejudice, which are often filled with a mass of complex emotional and personal content. This can include difficulties faced in adaptions to life events, interpersonal conflicts, decision-making dilemmas, and experiences with trauma, anxiety, stress and abuse.
The therapist’s unbiased, empathetic and genuine presence with our client during the session is central to our work along with many different theoretical frameworks, skills and strategies we use to help the clients help themselves.
Many times during our clinical practise, we encounter the situations where the behaviour or narrations of the client or the significant other may influence or trigger some deeper space in us and can be a negative experience. The therapeutic alliance and the process as a whole is not affected directly but afterwards we maybe.
Therefore, while connecting and understanding different inner experiences and processes, like the thoughts, emotions, sensations and behaviours of our client, one has to be constantly in touch with yourself and be aware what is happening. The skill is being able to quickly shift back to be fully and genuinely present with the client. Easier said than done when newly qualified. It needs a lot of practise and building of character strength resulting in being aware of self and others simultaneously.
Sometimes all our shields do drop and we know we need some help too and that’s perfectly OK. As the years pass, one soon realises that everyone has issues and they are all as important to the person no matter how small or what their personal situation may appear to be.
Very recently I went through a struggle as a therapist and could sense that my inner vulnerable spot was under attack by the client’s behaviour and this was disturbing me. I knew the harm it could cause to my therapeutic alliance and the wonderful progress we have made through our sessions. I knew I needed help to work through this uncomfortable feeling I was experiencing through the result of what I was hearing. I immediately reached out and spoke about this to my colleague. I too needed a non-judgmental, empathetic listening ear. Once I had off-loaded, I immediately felt ‘re-centred’. Soon, I was able to move through that impasse and felt equipped to move ahead in the continuing my therapy sessions with the client, back to my regular self. We worked through my feeling of uncomfortableness together. The timeless adage, ‘a problem shared’ does work!
This is the power of self-awareness and reaching out for help at right time without considering it as a professional failure or a sign of weakness.
If you feel you are struggling as a parent or your child needs help please, do ring us to make an appointment. All our sessions are confidential we look forward to helping you stay grounded.
MADHURA JOSHI
Rehabilitation Psychologist and Research Coordinator
Sethu frequently conducts comprehensive ‘Parent Training Programmes’ to help parents become effective teachers to their children. Do contact us to sign up for the next session.